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Dads Regret Abortions

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By Penna Dexter

Sometimes Fathers Day hurts. Some dads face holes in their lives that their aborted children could fill right now.

More than 55 million babies have been aborted in America since the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973. Every aborted child has two parents. Men are often seen to be peripheral to the abortion of children they fathered. But in 95 percent of abortions, the father is involved.

It’s not just post-abortive mothers who have to live with their abortions for the rest of their lives. Fathers do too and they often look back with regret on an abortion decision they have been involved in and the actual abortion that ensued.

Kevin Burke is co-founder, with his wife Dr. Theresa Burke, of Rachel’s Vineyard, a beautiful retreat program for spiritual and emotional healing after abortion. Over 1000 of these retreats are held annually across the country. Men are welcome. Kevin Burke is also the author of several books, including Redeeming a Father’s Heart, and head of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign’s Fatherhood Initiative.

“Regardless of one’s moral and political position on abortion,” Kevin Burke says, “the reality is that many men see their participation in abortion as a confusing and highly stressful experience.” After the abortion of their child, even years later, men who supported or coerced an abortion can suffer from what Kevin Burke describes as “crippling guilt.” Men who were ambivalent about the abortion of their child or even unaware of it at the time it took place can suffer. And what about fathers who did not want their child aborted? Kevin Burke says that for “those who did not support the abortion and those who were powerless to stop it, the aftermath can be especially devastating.”

Silent No More is a joint campaign of Priests for Life and Anglicans for Life. The idea is that people should share their stories of abortion to help in their own healing and to help others know they are not alone in regretting their abortions. The campaign’s
webpage, “Healing Shockwaves of Abortion” contains testimonials and prayers to help people who have lost children to abortion.

This Fathers’ Day, Priest’s For Life’s National Director Father Frank Pavone urges churches and all believers to reach out to men who carry guilt from abortion. “Let the healing begin,” he says.

Perhaps there is an abortion in your past and you are suffering that loss. Maybe you are a man who regrets the lost opportunity to be a father to his child that was aborted. Maybe you think now you somehow have to pay for having been complicit in an abortion.

Believing saint, Christ paid for your sin and mine. Your future does not have to be destroyed by guilt. You have peace with God in Christ. You can have joy.

If this peace eludes you, remember, it is only in Jesus. In Him, you do not have to pay.

Viewspoints by Penna Dexter

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