Teenagers grew up with technology and have become increasingly dependent upon it. We shouldn’t be against digital technology, but we do need to understand its impact and help our children and grandchildren use it effectively. That is the message of Dr. Kathy Koch’s book, Screens and Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World. She was on my radio program recently to talk about the principles in her book.

We began by talking about the five core needs that all of us have, including teenagers. They are: security (who can I trust?), identity (who am I?), belonging (who wants me?), purpose (why am I alive?), and competence (what do I do well?).

It doesn’t take lots of discernment to realize that these new digital devices connect with these core needs in both positive and negative ways. We should be concerned with children who only trust Google or Siri and get their sense of identity and belonging from Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. She also points out that unlike adults, they may not have great coping mechanisms so they are inclined to turn to these devices for comfort and affirmation.

The core of her book is the five myths that are enhanced by these technologies. Lie #1 is “I Am the Center of My Own Universe.” That is easy to believe when smart phones and tablets reinforce the narcissism of adolescence. Lie #2 is “I Deserve to be Happy All the Time.” Lie #3 is “I Must have Choices.” We live in a world of choices: look at the cereal aisle, look at all the ways you can order a Starbucks.

Lie #4 is “I am my own authority.” These devices allow you to determine what articles you read, what music you hear, so you control your world. And lie #5 is “Information is All I Need. So I don’t Need Teachers.” Why learn math or history or anything. The answers are on already on my smart phone or computer.

I recommend the book, Screens and Teens, for parents, pastors, and teachers. It will help you navigate the new digital world.