Penna Dexter

New research on the gender divide shows that young men want marriage and family more than young women do.

The Daily Signal reports that, as recently as 1993, 83 percent of 12^th grade girls told researchers they were likely to get married, while only 76 percent of boys that age thought they would tie the knot.

Two recent surveys reveal that the status quo has flipped. A November Pew Research study shows 74 percent of 12^th grade boys say they’ll marry. Just six in ten girls say they will do so.

In September, NBC News asked 18-29-year-olds what factors they see as necessary for a successful life. Men ranked getting married and having children higher than their female peers. The Daily Signal’s Katrina Trinko detects “a true values shift, where women no longer see marriage and children as key to a fulfilling life.”

Political scientist Samuel Abrams and demographer Joel Kotkin have analyzed the data on this phenomenon. In an article for Real Clear Investigations entitled Equal but Separate: How the Gender Divide Is Rewiring America,” they conclude that “men and women increasingly inhabit separate psychological, relational, and civic universes that interpret adulthood, authority, intimacy, and obligation in profoundly different ways.”

They point to “the steady decline of marriage and childbearing” as a visible and devastating sign of this divide. Its result has been the disruption of the traditional paradigm which emphasized family and community.  They lament what they call “a post familial ethos.”

This change has been building since the 70’s, the “Me Decade.” One factor is technology, which has made us more isolated from one another. Identity is derived less from ties to family. Instead, the self is primary.

Dr. Abrams and Kotkin unpack this rewiring in detail. A key observation is that “Commitment now competes with autonomy — and autonomy often wins.“

This important article suggests “Creating a New Family Ethic,” emphasizing ways to reinvigorate marriage and family formation.